Big Match Preview

CCFC v Man Utd

On a recent excursion to the Indian subcontinent I was shocked to find at Mumbai Airport, alongside the world's greatest and most exclusive shops and boutique stores such as Armani, Chanel, Calvin Klein and Spillers Records there is a store dedicated solely to merchandise from the team on the red side of Manchester.

Quite how the great grey 'Cottonopolis' of the industrial revolution, a city once pitied as 'wretched, defrauded, oppressed, a crushed human nature, lying and bleeding fragments' and an inspiration for the works of Marx and Engels, developed into a global brand, producing the world sporting team of choice for the aspirational and the pathologically shallow is beyond me.

Those that have chosen to hitch a ride on the shoulders of the city's giants might care to reflect that this is the city of The Smiths, The Stone Roses, Ian Curtis, John Cooper Clarke, Mrs Merton and Herman's Hermits. But you'll find no music, no poetry, no irony in those self regarding bling-bling middling piddling flashy trashy fans.

I don't have any problem with the Mumbai Mancs, the Reykjavik or Riyadh Reds, the boys from distant lands seduced by a glitzy unreality beyond their comprehension. We forgive them for they know not what they do.

It's much more difficult to find excuses for the legions of their UK fans who abandon the obvious choice of following their home (inevitably less successful) team in favour of pursuing a vicarious thrill and inviting a little success enter their hopeless lives.

What is going through their minds as they park up their white vans and commit to settling down in front of their mega-tellies in their Sevenoaks semis, their Bracknell bungalows or their Tonyrefail terraces after a hard day's finger-gesturing and tail-gaiting to follow their favourite's flatulent fortunes with nothing but a micro-waved 'meal for one' and a flat lager for company?

Not much as it turns out. A recent study concluded that the majority of MDF's (Manchester Distance Fans) are socially inadequate with unrealistic life goals. They may have experienced childhood isolation and are likely to have adopted their team after failing at stamp collecting.

Worse still are the monied breed of Home Counties Jonny-come-latelys attracted by the gentrification of the terraces and the cache attached to identifying with a successful lifestyle brand. Sitting there in their swanky Mancy corporate boxes the atmosphere is so sterile that you can hear a Pimms drop.

So as the bloated global Man U audience drags up a chair, adjusts its rose-tinted spectacles, belches and settles down to another afternoon of vacuous semi-engaged unrequited infatuation, 27,000 grounded souls at the Cardiff City Stadium will be fighting to keep it real.

Ah, that's better. Nothing beats a bit of bile-letting and spleen-venting to ease the pain of 50 years of provocation.

So what are the chances of an unlikely Manchester double? History, stats, form and global expectations are against us but we know that with a combination of steely resolve on the pitch and a master tactician on the sidelines anything is possible.

After two glamour games at the CCS - with the Gooners up next - any points will be welcome ahead of two crunch games away at Stoke & Palace that will have a greater impact on our fortunes.

Let's hope that any anxiety generated by the unrealistic expectations of the meddling Malaysian won't impact too much on our performance but there is an over-riding concern that  we're never likely to be more than a couple of defeats away from another potentially catastrophic Vincent Tan-trum. 

Match Report to follow...