Parting Is Such Sweet Sorrow...

CCFC and me - A Conscious Uncoupling.

'It is with hearts full of sadness that we have decided to separate. We have been working hard for well over a year, some of it together, some of it separated, to see what might have been possible between us, and we have come to the conclusion that while we love each other very much we will remain separate. We are, however, and always will be a family, and in many ways we are closer than we have ever been. We ask for our space and privacy to be respected at this difficult time'. 
 Reproduced without the kind permission of Mr & Mrs L.A. Twee

Like many of us I have been deeply troubled by recent events and during this springtime of season ticket renewal and contemplation I can reveal that I have, with the help of sports psychotherapist   Dr Jose Crapenguff,  embarked on a process to 'transform the deepest disappointment into a sacred journey from sorrow to peace'.

It is my great hope that the breakdown in the longest and most meaningful relationship of my life (well, apart from an extended Lost Weekend that took in the 80's and most of the 90's...) may be temporary and retrievable; the decision to 'uncouple' rather than part in perpetuity will allow both sides the opportunity to separate and grow and leaves open the prospect of a reconciliation at some point.

I have learned from my personal guru to redefine the construct of fandom by studying the complex symbiotic parasitical relationship of wedge-capped plutocrats where higher ranking members recruit alien species such as the Leatherbacked Tan to infiltrate the established group and extract the milk and urine of the lower ranked proletariat. I now believe this to be an outdated construct; we must let go of old notions and approach the uncoupling as a positive experience with a view to engendering reciprocal enhancement of our joint spiritual endoskeleton.

To this end I have recently signed up to the One Re-born Every Minute forum at Psychobabble.com where I have benefitted from a number of exchanges with my new soul affiliate Gwynneth Precious from London and her consciously uncoupled partner Chris Bedwetter who have advised me that in choosing to handle the uncoupling in a conscious way I will see that although it looks like everything is coming apart it’s actually all coming back together.

This has brought me great comfort as I approach the conclusion of a traumatic period. I fully intend to treat every defeat over the coming weeks as a victory and embrace fully the glorious possibilities that relegation will bring in the belief that it is bringing me and my club closer.

And when the parasitical plutocrats have finally sucked the lifeblood of the club dry perhaps I will return to complete the sacred journey as we reconvene in spiritual Conference to look back on our heroic demise, reflecting that failure is but success turned inside out. Wibble.

Note: 'They must often change their minds who would be constant in happiness or wisdom'                   - Confucius