Some interesting facts about Wigan:
·
It is a small town in Greater Manchester
·
It has a football team
·
The football team in Wigan used to be called
'Wigan County'
·
'Wigan County' changed its name to 'Wigan United'
·
'Wigan United' changed its name to 'Wigan Town'.
·
Wigan has never had a team called 'Dinamo Wigan'
'Real Wigan' or even 'FC Interesting Wigan'. That's not the way they do things
in Wigan.
·
The football team in Wigan is now called 'Wigan
Athletic'
·
Not a lot happens in the town of Wigan.
·
In 1932 Wigan Athletic campaigned to get into
the football league but failed to register a single vote.
·
After 34 failed attempts to get into the
Football League, in 1974 they applied to join the Scottish Football League but
failed to register a single vote.
·
Wigan is a small town in Greater Manchester.
ENGLAND.
·
It has a Rugby League team. The name of the
Rugby League Team in Wigan used to be called 'Wigan'. They were quite good.
·
The Wigan Rugby League team had a winger called
Chariots Offiah who was pious and refused to play on a Sunday. He was made into
a film. Vangelis Morrison wrote the music.
·
People from Wigan are known as 'Wiganers'.
·
Famous Wiganers include musical hall superstar
George Formby, that bloke who used to sing with a stuffed skunk on his head in
80's pop band Kajagoogoo and Willy Eckerslike from Coronation Street.
·
Here is a funny joke about Wigan: A bloke from Wigan wins the lottery. He
decides he wants to have a statue of his dog so he goes to the jewellers and
asks how much a solid gold statue of a dog would be. The jeweller asks "Do
you want it eighteen carat?" The bloke says 'No I'll just have it chewing
a bone'.
You know you're no longer in the
Premier League because:
·
You leave the house at the normal time but due
to 'Championship Football Parallactic Displacement Theory' you arrive at the
ground ten minutes earlier than planned.
·
You realise that traffic light colour coding
includes the colour green.
·
You're listening to The Archers in the car
because 5Live isn't interested in your game.
·
On the walk up Ninian Way the conversation
doesn't revolve around the threat of the opposition. Because you keep
forgetting who you're playing.
·
You can access the 3G network in the ground as
there is no local system overload.
·
You can clearly hear profanities emitting from
the pitch. You sit back and admire the foreign players' ability to learn English
swear words.
·
You can hear yourself think. This is not a good
thing.
Oddly, the game kicked off early
this evening. Or so it seemed. As the referee blew his whistle I looked around
and thought 'You can't start yet, the crowd hasn't arrived'.
I'd planned to buy a programme to
see if I recognised any of the players in my team. Fortunately the players' shirts
still have names on them, even at this level, which is really good. So I got to
learn a few names even though my distance eye-sight's not great. I think of the
new boys Pillockton is probably the most promising but Lemon Dre and Jabba
Gooly looked lively later on. I'm not convinced about Aden Yemini though -
there was an obvious Gulf in class.
The game kicked off, the players
ran around a bit and sometimes kicked the ball. Occasionally it was a bit like
that game that you get excited about on the telly. Before you could say 'I
could be home watching 'Great British Railways on BBC4' it was half time.
At half time I ate my apple. It
was a Braeburn which is a cross between a Granny Smith and a Lady Hamilton.
Then the players came back out
and played some more football. We score one goal and Wigan didn't. So we won
the game. Hurrah! So the final score was Cardiff City one, Wigan Athletic nil.
Or as James Alexander Gordon, the voice of the BBC results programme for 40
years who sadly died this week, might have said, 'Cardiff City one, Wigan
Athletic nil.'
Is it May yet??
