Liverpool - Sporting Citadel, Musical Mecca
Tomorrow we entertain genuine
footballing nobility. For those of us who grew up through the Shankly, Paisley
and Dalglish era when Liverpool were the dominant force in British and European
football it means so much to have the opportunity to welcome teams like this on
a regular basis. And it emphasises just how much it will hurt to go back to
playing, with no offence intended, the lumpenproletariat
of Championship chancers.
On paper this one's a mismatch -
an authentic heavyweight contender versus a battling blundering bantamweight. Earlier
in the season we might have had the luxury of a slightly detached philosophical
approach to a game such as this - sit back and enjoy the ride. But not now. We
can't afford to give them any respect.
We clearly can't match them for
raw talent so if we're going to get anything from this game we need a different
approach. I thought I'd try sarcasm. If that fails we could always go with violence.
It's a combination that worked well for Monty Python's Piranha Brothers... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-fNvi6xG-5Y
It's scarcely credible that one
city of fewer than 500,000 inhabitants might have made such an impact on the
wider world, nurturing a wealth of talent in so many different areas and
contributing so fully to the enrichment of the human experience.
It's remarkable to reflect that
for example in the world of television the city can count amongst its stellar
progeny not only the bloke that played Len Fairclough in Coronation Street and
Alf Garnett's 'scouse git' son-in-law Tony Booth (Cherie Blair's dad) but also
Keith Chegwin.
Music Hall favourite Arthur 'Hello playmates / Where's me washboard?'
Askey and UKIP's favourite comedian Stan Boardman with his hilarious routine
about hating the Germans for bombing his chippy, are but two of the legions of
funnymen who sharpened their scouse wit in the city's fleapits.
Our democracy would surely have
been the poorer without the insightful contributions of Edwina Currie or the level-headed
governance of Derek Hatton. And who could ignore the contribution to the
spiritual life of the nation of one of the
great Archbishops, Robert Rancid?
But above all, the city of
Liverpool is of course synonymous with those twin working class diversions
football and pop music. The 1960s saw the spectacular rise of Liverpool FC under
the direction of Bill Shankly, gaining promotion to the First Division in 1962;
with an amplitude of serendipitous Scousery a group of local lads were at the
same time returning from honing their craft in the strip clubs of Hamburg (only
to be told that 'guitar groups are on their way out').
The ascendancy of the fabulous
mop topped foursome - the Cute One, the Smart One, the Quiet One and the hum-drum
tub-thumping ever-so-grateful one - in the decade when London swung but to Liverpool's
beat, was matched by the team from the red side of the city.
In 1964 Liverpool won their first
league title in a generation, a feat they repeated two seasons' later having secured their first ever FA Cup in the
interim. At the same time The Beatles were riding high with worldwide smash
hits such as 'Can't Buy Me Lunch', 'Please Fleece Me, 'All You Need Is Cash',
'Back In The HSBC' and 'With A Little Help From My Financial Advisor'.
Liverpool FC of course went on to
dominate English and European football throughout the 70's and 80's long after
the Fabs had gone their separate ways but football and music will always be
inextricably linked in
the city. That connection is still very much alive, as
my extensive research reveals.
'Listen, Do You Want To Know a Secret...?'
Current manager Brendan Rogers'
mum Clodagh represented the UK in the 1971 Eurovision Song Contest with the
song 'Jack in the Box', a tribute to legendary Swansea striker Ivor Allchurch.
John Lennon & Yoko Ono met at
Prenton Park, the home of Tranmere Rovers where Yoko was Artist In Residence
for the 1968-69 season. During the home game against Rotherham United John was
standing on the terraces with a group of disgruntled fans who were frustrated
at the manager's reluctance to play their new signing George Preece. John
confronted the fans and told them to get behind the team, to which one of the
fans replied 'All we are saying is give Preece a chance...'
After retiring from the game,
Liverpool legend Ian Rush bought a farm on the Wirral where he has been able to
indulge his fondness for yellow fruit and long-necked goats. With his pop star
wife - a member of a best-selling 80's all-girl group - he is a successful banana
and llama farmer.
At his FA tribunal on an assault
charge Luiz Suarez claimed that he was compelled to bite Chelsea defender
Ivanovic after being influenced by a subliminal message at the end of the Sgt
Pepper album which when played backwards clearly says 'Bite him Luis bite him'.
To finish, here's few stats that
might convince you that we've reached the end of the 'The Long and Winding Road' but then again 'Tomorrow Never Knows' perhaps 'We
Can Work it Out'. Nah. 'This Bird Has
Flown...'
OPTA analysts reckon 36 points
will do the trick this season. So what do the bottom 7 need to do to survive?
Team Points Per Game Reqd PPG to date Survival Rating
FULHAM 1.50 0.80 Ob-la-di-oh-bla-da
CARDIFF 1.38 0.83 Old Brown Shoe
SUNDERLAND 1.00 0.93 You Can't Do That
PALACE 0.89 0.97 Within You Without You
WEST BROM 0.89 0.97 With A Little Help From My Friends
NORWICH 0.88 0.97 And Your (canary) Bird Can Sing
SWANSEA 0.78 1.00 GET BACK!
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