There’s a new game at the CCS - ‘Ole’s Team Selection Bingo’. Cards containing permutations of the 29 first team squad numbers are issued on entry. The winning card is one containing the correct starting line up. There have been no winners so far this season.
Still on the numbers theme, mathematics has a theory known as ‘derangement’ which is defined as a permutation of the elements of a set such that none of the elements appear in their original position. The practical implementation of this discipline is known as The Solskjaer Principle.
‘Derangement’ in this context is of course not to be confused with the psychotic condition of the same name which confirms ‘a loss of contact with reality’.
Today’s pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey master class allowed a start upfront for Macheda, pushed up the pecking order ahead of Maynard, Le Fondre and Torres Luis in a previously untried combination with Jones. Ralls was given a chance in midfield ahead of Adeyemi, Daehli and the absent Dikcagoi.
In the event it was a quiet first 45 minutes for the rotational system non-believers as we took the game to the opposition - favourites for an immediate return to the big time - playing with confidence and flair and looking comfortable with the system they’ve been hand-picked for, for the first time this season.
We got off to a flier as Ralls picked the ball up on the edge of the box, finding space and width to prise open a static Norwich back line, angling a shot across keeper Ruddy to find the back of the net. Three minutes on the clock and 1-0 to the red-shirted renegades. (Actually, the deranged stadium digital hourglass was doing a damned fine impression of H G Wells’ Time Machine and clocked the goal in at 99.00 mins. So I make that 3 minutes and 9 minutes of injury time already played. Fantasy football).
We continued to dominate and it was no surprise when after a succession of one touch triangles and neat interplay, the slickest of moves concluded with a deft Gunnarsson deflection off the far post to make it 2-0.
The Canaries were stunned, leaving the travelling fans pining for The Fens.
In the City goal Capt. Marshall, Scotland’s Number One, who by Friday may have inadvertently become our latest foreign acquisition, was acclimatising himself to independence, directing events in splendid isolation untroubled by any incursions across his border.
The remainder of the half was uneventful, the crowd subdued, as we eased towards the break.
At half time our new signing, Bruno, a post - transfer window signing from French club Lorient (let’s hope we’re not victims of a cruel prank which has left us paying £5m for a Leyton Orient stiff) was introduced to the crowd.
Norwich brought on former Bluebirds favourite Cameron Jerome for the second half as Ole’s rotational policy took a new twist with Dr Jekyll leaving the stage to be replaced by Mr Hyde.
After nearly 50 years of following your team it’s not unreasonable to think you’ve probably seen it all. Apparently not. A team so dominant in the first half were on the back foot from the restart as a resurgent Norwich tore us apart, turning the game on its head and scoring 3 goals in a tortuous 17 minute spell.
The whole balance of the team was upset by Fabio’s half time departure, a previously imperious back four now shapeless, ponderous and run ragged by the revitalised visitors. Declan John, on for Fabio, was attacked mercilessly down the left flank, the back-tracking Macheda offering little in support.
The team was clearly missing a leader on the pitch. With the game plan in tatters there was no-one with sufficient authority to take stock and rally the team. One cohesive unit disintegrated into eleven fractured confused individuals.
If they were looking to the bench for inspiration they were out of luck as Ole stood in his now familiar besuited pose, arms folded, dazed, confused. Deranged.
The substitutions were dubious at best. The excellent, battling Kenwyne Jones was removed along with Pilkington, despite clear evidence that Macheda and Ralls in particular were struggling. The over-populated midfield was now pushing forward and bunching up with the all-new strike partnership of Maynard and Macheda, forcing Gunnarsson out to play on the wing!
In the final minutes the thinning, wretched crowd were left to witness the familiar site of a returning player twisting the knife as Jerome made it four.
Next up, Middlesboro on Tuesday. We’ll be there, with picks, shovels and Bingo cards, we’ll be there.
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